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August 10, 2004

Comments

BabyBlues

Is there any more room on that soapbox? I kind of agree with you.

Marla

I'm sorry your IUI was painful. I'm glad they gotcha before you O'd.

I, too, watched this show and checked in late. Of course, the first thing my infertile mind did was ask questions such as "IVF?" "But wait, she had 2 small children, so no IVF?" "Aren't the odds really small to conceive trips?" "Did they paln this pg?" (head spinning).

I agree, ever since the McCauley's, the media had celebrated the idea of litters as an accomplishment. The babies were heralded as "miracles." The only miracle was the amount of free stuff that poured in-- geez, the Mc Cauleys got a new house for crying out loud. And yet, we critize welfare mothers for having children that they cannot afford. Without the freebies (which welfare mom don't get because the media doesn't rally around them), the Mc Cauleys would have most likely ended up on public assistance (he was a billing clerk at a car dealership and she was a SAHM). Clearly, there is a double standard.

As the makeover show was concluding, I expected the tag line "And they lived happily ever after", which as you mentioned, is usually far from the truth. I was surprised they didn't throw in Alice from the Brady Bunch.

Don't worry about offending people, it's your blog. Besides, we all agree that we're sick of the meds, the wand and insensitive nurses. It's good to shake things up every now and then.

Pazel

Oh, I could talk forever on multiples. I think that media attention on women having multiples contributes to the death or injury of many babies every year. "If that woman can have 5 babies at once, then I can certainly carry 3." In all reality, I've done numerous analyses at my work on multiple births and see the many that don't make it, or if they do then they are so premature that they have lifelong disabilities. How could a mother put her children's health in such jeopardy? Who would risk such a thing and call themselves a loving parent? For most, there are ways of preventing multiples in advance of their conception so selective reduction doesn't have to be a question. I could scream everytime that McAughey woman would say that she couldn't reduce because of her religion. Shouldn't your religion have barred you from doing an IUI with so many mature follicles when you didn't believe in reduction and there's such a high risk of death or injury to the children?

I'm sorry your IUI hurt. Mine mainly hurt psychologically because I completely lacked hope. I hope you find better things to watch on TV. There's not much, so I recommend Sponge Bob.

Moxie

I hear you. The whole "it's God's will" argument really doesn't hold much water unless the multiples happened naturally. Do you remember that story about the woman who got pregnant and found out it was twins at a few weeks, right before her husband shipped out with his Army unit? Then at her 8 week ultrasound each embryo had split, so she was carrying two sets of identical twins. (All boys, no less.) But unless you're that lady, how did you get into that situation in the first place?

Here's a population control issue I never thought of until recently: It's better for a woman to have 3 kids in her 30s than to have 2 kids in her 20s, because then the generations are further apart and the compounding will be slower and lead to fewer people.

anothrjen

i'm with pazel. nothing like a little sponge bob to fill your head with empty entertainment. certified to offend no one excpt those who think it's wrong for squirles to live under the sea in an dive suit. (it's just not natural!)
I'm also with you on the preocupation with multiples. (see my post 'sad story') When SIL got pregnant with twins at least she had the good sense to be worried about it- not to revel in the glory of having 3 kids under 3. that made it a little easier.

chris

I saw this show when it first aired a few months ago (because I love crap TV) and I can't remember if they used fertility drugs (I think they didn't) but the family just annoyed the hell out of me anyway. I have a real problem with people knocking out kids they can't afford. And they were so damn proud of what they were doing. It's one of my pet peeves. Don't even get me started on the population control issues.

As for the McCaughy (sp) septublets, I think she did injectables with no monitoring and conceived through regular old sex. Scary. Really gives you faith in her doctor, huh?

Jen P

A few years ago a Nigerian woman gave birth to 8 babies at my mother's hospital. She was in charge of the floor (manager) as well as the head nurse and had to watch as these weak, near dead babies were removed from the mother's womb at 34 weeks. She had been on bedrest since her transfer.

My mother was haunted by her feelings. Here was this family, finally in America, finally getting the family they wanted, and yet turning down redution, and asking to have ALL their embyos transfered. In which 8 stuck and were born. There was a big media hooplah about it all but no one followed up about the little ones who died later in the week or can't walk, or talk, etc.

It makes me feel sick that someone could be so selfish. I don't mind stepping on those toes because really, 8 babies at once? That's totally selfish.

As for EM: House Edition, I really liked the first season. I think it was more about people who gave back to the community. There was a really lovely episode that had me in tears for a few days.

Hoping the cramps subside and lots of luck.

JJ

I'm not going to comment on the population control thing, because I know if I could affrod it I'd have as many children as my body could bear. being that I'm practically broke, and far from fertile, it's not such a problem. I've always dreamed of a big family.

I love EM:HE. Okay, I love Ty. I haven't seent he episode you're talking about, but I've seen some of the ones from the first season and I liked them all. I saw the one where the dad died of cancer (and they'd had like 8 kids), the one where the woman donated her bone marrow, the one where the little girl had cancer and a few others. They were mostly just "feel good" stories. What I like is that other people nominate them, it's not like they write in themselves.

Heidi

That was a highly entertaining post to read! Hats off to you for speaking honestly. And I agree, by the way.

Do you think the Extreme Makeover people could come to my house? If three years of paralyzing depression and thousands of dollars pumped into medical procedures that didn't work isn't a sad enough story, then I don't know what is. (Last week, my husband threw a tennis ball against our wooden fence and it went THROUGH it. We obviously need a lot of work done.)

Christine

I totally agree with you. We had figured that we would have 1, then adopt one or two older children afterwards. When the biological thing didn't seem to be happening, we changed the adoption to newborn (I wanted that experience at least once). Now, if the current situation holds, we can revisit our original plan.

I remember reading about the Nigerian woman, but Jen is right - beyond hearing that one died shortly after birth, I never heard anything else.

Jody

I had very mixed feelings about your post, and as hard as I tried to compress them into a comment, I couldn't do it. So I started a blog, instead. And it took me, oh, two months to figure out whether it was worth it.

Short version? Once you've conceived triplets, you're already (at some fundamental level) committed. From a purely medical perspective, selective reduction gets you very little. And yes, plenty of triplet parents know exactly what risks are involved. They get to spend months and years imagining and living them. That doesn't mean we want to hear that our kids are not worth celebrating. Okay, using their shared birthday as a selling point on TV might be a celebration too far, but please: as one former anti-multiples PCOS'er to another, cut us some slack.

Anyway, there's much more of this over at my brand-spanking-new blog. Come on over to check it out if you're interested. I tried not to act all offended, really.

tess

as a mother of four under three years (8 month old triplets born at 26 weeks, one 3 year old son, all IVF)...here are some thoughts.

firstly,i agree it is annoying how television glorifies multiples. not fair to anyone.

population control issues..adoption. we tried to adopt, charles and i. but i have epilepsy and he was married before and we were essentially turned down. so we moved on to IVF.

our first IVF with a three blastocyst transfer ended with the birth of one healthy child. (m/c his twin).

second IVF, as the first had yielded one with three blast transfer and i was older and my eggs crappier, transferred three blasts. and ended up pregnant with triplets.

selective reduction was nothing we would consider.

four children i am trying to raise to make a difference, to help make a better world for the children we were not allowed to adopt. and others.

but the triplets were born at 26 weeks, and you are right, there are incredible risks associated with carrying triplets, and selective reduction for that matter.

as a Christian, i do believe that it is God's will. i have epilepsy, i take drugs to control it. my mum had breast cancer, she took drugs and then surgery. i couldn't conceive, so i took drugs and then had surgery to help us.

it is your blog. your experiences. your thoughts. you should be able to write whatever you want.

and i am sorry that your IUI hurt you. injury to insult.
all best
tess
http://home.netvigator.com/~tlyons/triplet.htm

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