I read about this yesterday. Go ahead take a look, but be prepared to vomit afterwards. It's a game called "Who's Having this Baby Anyway?" And for those that can't go any further than the home page, the rules are explained below.
"Players start in the conception area (of course), move through the 40 weeks of pregnancy and when 'it's time,' begin labor. Remember, if you overdo it, you have to go back to bed!
The first player to complete the pregnancy and dilate to 10 cm - WINS!- and gets to deliver the baby or babies.
Game Board Squares include 40 weeks of Fetal Development information. 180 Game Cards include educational and humorous topics covering all aspects of pregnancy and labor, along with facts, tips, and helpful information about pregnancy signs and symptoms, help and resource organizations, and options in labor and childbirth.
There are 20 different Babies to be delivered.
A great way for Moms to share their experience with everyone. (And they don't have to spend all that time reading books.)
For only $34.95 you will get as much information as you would get from several books."
This would have made me shudder even when I was going through a healthy, "normal" pregnancy. But viewing it through the lens of someone who has been through the infertility war zone, well...Let's just say that I know that I'm not the only one gagging right now.
Okay, part of it is pure, brilliant green envy. First to be pregnant, and then to feel so safely joyful about it. I know many of us quietly wish we could get back to that place, even though we know it is not possible. But there is more than jealousy. In my head I imagine a bunch of well-educated, white couples (this game is so white!) in their late twenties sitting around a table and drinking wine (except for the pregnant women, who are monitoring their diets like it really will make all the difference in their pregnancies.) Their All American faces are beaming with the inner knowledge that the sun will shine down on them. That they will have a beautiful, healthy child in nine month's time. It's irritating like those wine commercials of stylish and beautiful twenty somethings sitting around and laughing in a Pottery Barn living room.
The instructions to the game indicate that the game begins in the conception area "of course," and then you move through 40 weeks of pregnancy. HA. HA.
How come it's always the pregnant ladies that get all the attention. How about a game for infertiles?
It could go something like this:
The game starts at the Reproductive Endocrinologist's office (of course!). There will be many pitfalls along the way but some of you may, possibly, if you are very, very lucky, reach the last square: a healthy baby.
Game board squares will include:
-High FSH - move back 10 spaces
-Responding well to Pergonal! You have 4 follicles! Move ahead four spaces.
-Super low morphology - head straight to the IVF area and wait three months, I mean skip three turns.
-No heartbeat at 10 weeks! Go to the D and C room. Do not pass go. Definitely do not collect $200.
-7 embryos fertilized! Implant 3! Move ahead for 9 days, I mean 9 spaces.
-Oops, your baby has trisomy 16! Back to square one!
-Hurray! you made it to bed rest! only 12 weeks to go!
-Unexplained infertility? Skip 6 turns.
Game cards will include tips on how to tactfully avoid baby showers, how to endure all of your friends getting pregnant while you are still at the start line, how to avoid physical violence against fertility clinic nurses, as well as where to find help and resource organizations. It will also include advice about whether to have a D and C or "wait," and whether to do one more IUI before IVF.
About half of the people playing the game will reach the final square. There is one baby that can be delivered - a healthy, living one.
It's a great way for infertiles to share their experience with everyone, even though noone wants to hear about it. (And they don't have to spend 482 hours googling!)
For only $34.95 you will get reminded of everything that can possibly(and perhaps probably) go wrong with your pregnancy!
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Now I know why noone has developed "Who is NOT Having a Baby." It's really not very much fun.
Oh yeah Patricia, we're on the same page today (check out my post about infertility being like muscial chairs). Oh fucking gag me, really, pleeeeeassse. No, no one wants to play infertility game, because don't you know? If you're infertile, you just go and get one of those IVF thingeys done and you'll have a baby -- at least so I'm told.
Fucking pottery barn people. I swear, they're the mutants.
Posted by: Emily | October 19, 2004 at 03:25 PM
There is no way that could possibly be real. Unless... wait... did we cross over into an alternate dimension? Crap, I hate it when I do that.
Your idea sounds much more challenging. $34.95 is a bargain!! I got my copy for $7500 and counting!!!
Posted by: OliviaDrab | October 19, 2004 at 03:58 PM
Today I watched a "Baby Story" and when the lovely, well-adjusted pregnant woman on her way to the hospital said with tears of joy in her eyes "this is the last time we'll be in this house without our baby" I yelled at the screen "or your baby could die and then you'll know how it feels you dumb bitch." And okay, that was a real low for me personally. And I felt like a horrible, small mean person. I don't want to be that person.
Thanks for reminding me that it's okay to feel that way sometimes. This is such a crap-filled journey.
Posted by: chris | October 19, 2004 at 05:55 PM
BAWHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I thought your game was funny. But. It would have to be a drinking game. 2 shots of tequila every time your transfer is cancelled. 1 maragarita with an extra shot after your D & C. A dirty martini and an extra shot of vodka after you receive your negative beta. The outside of the box would say Alcohol not included.
Posted by: Marla | October 19, 2004 at 06:03 PM
Wow! Great idea! This needs to be pitches to Parker Brothers! ...and I LOVE adding the drinking game part to it, Marla! Genius!!!
Posted by: Tiffanni | October 19, 2004 at 06:42 PM
Brilliant. Hrrrm. I'll need a copy for xmas for both pg sister-in-laws to play. Maybe then they'll shut up about how 'bad' it is to get pregnant so quickly.
Thanks for reminding me it's OK to feel this way. And that I'm normal. And that I'm ok. Because, you know, every day feels like a fucking marathon.
Hope you're doing well.
Posted by: Jen P | October 19, 2004 at 08:58 PM
Would there be a little stack of Crap Food cards? Get a BFN, draw a card: Eat three brownies for lunch. Zillionth consultation with RE, leave office, draw card: Buy ice cream sundae. Start crying so hard you drop it.
You're right, this game isn't much fun.
Posted by: Slim | October 20, 2004 at 06:27 AM
Your game is genius! It is even more hellacious to live it.
Back 10 steps, IVF fails, Up 1 step, lived another day.
I love your blog.
Posted by: Julianna | October 21, 2004 at 06:20 PM
I hate this infertility game -- but wow, do I love your description of it. :)
Posted by: Joanne | October 22, 2004 at 07:52 AM
That was really funny... I am sitting here te-he-heing....
ohh that was good I needed a laugh!
Posted by: alexhere | October 24, 2004 at 07:05 PM
I also think it should be a drinking game (great idea), except you're not allowed to drink during 2WW or when you get a positive HPT, but you get extra drinks after the beta falls or after negative HPT.
The sad thing is that even when you win, it's bittersweet because you want everyone to win too.
Posted by: Pazel | October 28, 2004 at 03:19 PM