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November 14, 2005



You write so beautifully, Patricia.

My step-mother has something called Pick's Disease. She is 54 and her frontal lobe is slowly disintegrating (symptoms similar to Alzheimers). The life expectancy is less than 3 years after diagnosis. My father just retired and it was recommended that he file for a divorce so he is not completely financially ruined as she is going to be in need of full time care very soon and insurance doesn't cover it as long as he has assets. He refuses to file for a divorce so, he is looking at a poor future after an entire life of working hard.

It is so difficult to see people go down that long, dark road. I admire you for finding some humour with your father's situation.

Thinking of you,


I want to say a bunch of things like I'm sorry and this must be so hard for you but they just don't feel like they convey enough sorrow and sympathy. I had no idea you were going through this and I don't know what to say......


Like Lala, I wish I had the words too...


No words here either. Just lots of hugs. You are in my thoughts.

Dead Bug

We watched my grandfather begin to disintegrate from Alzheimers at 77, then finally succumb at 83. Those were the hardest years in my father's and grandmother's lives. It is my fahter's deepest fear that he will end up in the same condition, and as he approaches the same age, that fear becomes more and more acute. It is a brutal, demoralizing decline, and I am so very sorry you are dealing with it. You, your stepmother and your father are all in my thoughts.



I'm very sorry. You write so beautifully about your losses. I wish you didn't have to, with all my heart.


Facing the loss of our parents when you aren't a parent yourself just puts another layer of grief on, I think. My thoughts are with you.


The loss of being able to have children interrupts the life cycle.

I'm sorry, this is tough.

Thinking of you.


Such a hard time to go through, and I'm very sorry. I could only imagine what a burden you feel for your mom and seeing your father go through this.

My dh's father has had Parkinson's for 25 years (!). Although it doesn't do the same thing to the mind, it's hard for dh to watch his dad deteriorate physically and mentally.

I agree about the comparison to this and your IF. Aging of parents is part of the natural life cycle and one expects some sort of bodily failure, as difficult as it is to go through when it happens. IF forces one to be denied basic maternal instincts.

You are in my thoughts.



I'm so sorry.


I know.. I am a caregiver for my 78 year old mother with dementia. So hard to not be angry when she asks the same question about where we live over and over when I have signs in her room and her chair in the livingroom telling her where we are and how long we've lived her.

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