Someone knocked on the door this morning at 7:45am. I was just out of the shower getting dressed. I was simultaneously helping my so-not-a-morning-person son get dressed. Then the doorbell rang. What the fuck? We weren't expecting anyone.
We hurried down to the door, and opened it to find two clean cut young men looking at me expectantly.
When I looked confused the guy in the forefront asked "Do you have faith?" huh? They did kind of look like mormon missionaries. I said "You guys are coming at this time of the morning to ask me that?!" They nodded simultaneously, with vague smiles on their faces and said "Yes." I turned to open the shades (It was very dark in our living room) and said, "You guys better get out of here, before I start cursing at you."
But when I came back to the doorway they were still standing there. I said "I'm serious..." and was just about to launch into a major tirade, when the looks on their faces stopped me. Instead I said, "Wait a second, who are you guys with?"
The first guy said, "Didn't you want a bid for your tile?"
Oops. They were LOOKING for Faith. Faith Johnson who lives one block over. The addresses are kind of screwed up in our neighborhood, and one block away there is a woman who has an almost identical address. Except that her address is a "North" address, ours is a "Northwest" address. This is not the first time that this confusion has occurred. The thing is, I totally forgot that her name is Faith. Even though we have uncannily similar addresses we don't talk much. In fact Faith and her partner, or roommate, or whatever that other woman that lives there is, are not very friendly. They make us pick up the mail that accidentally gets delivered there. Even though it would take less than two minutes to deliver it to our house. When Amazon.com had the wrong address for us for a while, Faith and co. sent us a nasty note, as though it was our fault that Amazon had dropped the W off of NW. As though we were intentionally trying to irritate her by purposefully supplying Amazon with the wrong address.
After apologizing profusely to the tile guys, I explained the situation and sent them on their merry way. I'm sure they'll tell Faith what a psycho neighbor she has. I'm just really glad I didn't say "You can shove your faith up your ass." Because I almost did.