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August 02, 2005



Why don't you add plastics can cause slow mental development (completely utterly false) because of the toxins in the resins -- let her find baby products without plastic! Ha!

Of for fuck's sake, what an annoying person, pregnant or not, even more so because she's pregnant and the same flipping age as me. Almost as annoying as my 42 year old neighbor who blindesided me that she's 11 weeks pregnant (first baby and only took 4 months of trying). I didn't like her before, but after her insensitive way of telling me, it's intense dislike. Maybe you can lose her number? Just a thought.


She should avoid pets, grass, christmas trees, fragrances, wheat, milk, nuts and such so that baby doesn't develop alergies. As a matter of fact, no pizza, french fries or chocolate so the child won't have acne as a teen.
I wish her much morning sickness. That does have an inverse affect, you know, developing the baby's sucking reflex. Just trying to be helpful.


I ate lots of donust while pregnant and got a skinny, lanky kid. Darn it, I wanted a fat one.

Your friend is nuts, by the way.

Here's my contribution: Being worried about everything will cause your child to rebel when he's older and become a complete slob.

Actually, that's probably true. Let's hope she calms down or the poor kid will be bald before he's twenty. Oh, that's a good one too!


Too much Jane makes the internet nuts.


Oh my god, wait 'til she has the kid. She's going to make the poor thing insane by the time it hits preschool.

J listened to a lot of crazy rap music when she was pregnant. Whenever Madison does something nutty we say, "Oh it was all that rap!" J does it, too. We blame everything on the rap music!!


Being self-absorbed during pregnancy results in a higher rate of preterm labor and a greater need for c-sections.


She should also avoid power lines, television, batteries or anything that runs on batteries and of course, computers. Otherwise her kid will glow in the dark and be radioactive. Ferchrissakes. Stay away from her, OK?


you are wickedly mean

But, did you know, I heard a study somewhere that if wear green pants when you're pregnant, you're kid will be smarter. No, really, they did a study, they compared folks in mongolia, where young moms wear green pants all the time, and they tested better on the 1 year old tests of IQ.

But, you gave yourself away. Can we craft a good one, and actually start it?



Hey, my :-) faces disappeared.



Eating too much spinach during pregnancy will cause the baby to suffer from terrible constipation for months after delivery, causing all immediate caregivers to twitch uncontrollably whenever they see a rectal thermometer.

Being insufferable during pregnancy raises the risk of suffering PPD, because one drives away all one's friends and ends up isolated and vulnerable after the baby comes and the only reality that matters is severe sleep deprivation.

Oh, wait: not funny.


Hey, I love your new look!

I hear that having an excessively stylish weblog will cause your child to grow up to become the host of an obnoxious makeover show.

 Jessica Jones

Great post....some people just don't get it.

Anna H.

Oh, I think I'm in love with you.



This is the first time reading your blog, and I am falling off the chair laughing so hard.

I did everything "Right" and one of my babies died, and the other one had birth defects. Tell her that, just to freak her out. :)

I'm evil too!


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