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January 29, 2006


Lut C.

Adoption is not something I am well versed in, not right now at least. I do agree with you that mentionning the fact that the kids were adopted was irrelevant in the headlines. And the habit of calling bio kids a couples 'own' to differentiate them from adopted kids is offensive.

Only, now some people are getting offended by using the terms bio kid and adopted kid. PC'ness gone mad? What should we call adopted kids then, parentally challenged?


The way that children become their parents' children isn't relevant in any of the cases I can think of lately. That Brad Pitt adopts Angelina Jolie's children is a story; that she adopted them is not such a story, not after the actual adoption has been reported. They are HER kids, and how they became her kids is not relevant to Brad Pitt's adoption story.

But even if that case is dicey, the story that Patricia cites now uses adoption in ways that just don't matter. Don't refer to them as either adopted or biological kids in the lead, because it's just not part of the story of their deaths.

Patricia, I'm sorry that it still hurts.


I have major issues about the importance of blood/genetic ties. For me, it's an extremely outdated idea and really, look where it got us: Millions and millions of people killed just in the 20th century because one group or another thought blood defined who we were or who was and who wasn't part of a society. Also, when I think about the people in my extended family who I liked the best, they were my aunt and great aunt, none of whom were "blood" relatives.

Still, there's something about this idea that won't go away and I think that's why people, who when asked outright clearly wouldn't define adoptive children as less part of a family than biological children, still have this knee-jerk reaction that blood is somehow still thicker than water.

A few months ago I was watching "The View" for some god-awful reason. Barbara Walters, who has an adopted daughter, was on there talking about how she had gone to Mexico right before a hurricaine was about to hit and that she hadn't been able to reach her. Anyway, all I could think was here's a woman who's been all over the world and done amazing things, and yet when it comes down to it, she's just another woman worried about her grown daughter. And it doesn't matter how this daughter came to her, just that it's her kid.

Sorry to babble. I'm a little sick tonight.

Take care.


If it hurts someone like me, who has no personal connection to adoption, I can only imagine what it feels like to someone who is adopted/adopting. I really don't know why people need to focus on "adopted" as an adjective. It's much better to think of it as a verb.

Anna H.



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