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March 15, 2006



Ditto everything.

It is so very difficult sometimes.


If I lived closer, I would meet you for a good stiff drink (none of this single glass of wine - I'm old enough to know better).
Can't say as I'm a great admirer of the women you went to dinner with. What was the point of not telling you prior to the dinner - "Hey, lets pretend to be worried about how she'll take it and then lets just let it slip where we can all watch how she takes it."
Sorry - I'm probably inserting too much of my own bitterness here. Maybe I'll just go and have that drink by myself.


The sneak attacks are the worst. When everyone knows but you it just hurts even more.


"It's much better to included than to be protected. To be treated as an object of pity immediately puts one on the outside."

YES. It is easy to feel verrrrry small when you see women exchanging those LOOKS across the table.

I'm sorry you had a rotten time of it.


It always hurt more when the people who should know us underestimate our compassion, understanding and strength. They should have known you better and trusted that you could and would be happy for others. I continue to hope that you will find some resolution for yourself.


Patricia that totally sucks. I have been there as well and it is not fun. Mostly because there is a huge implication that there is something wrong with you which, there isn't. You were dealt a really shitty card reproductively but you are an intact human being with feelings and a little heads up would have been the right thing to do. Maybe some new friends who enjoy a proper drink are in order.

-sending you a hug,


Lut C.

That was your last outing with that gang, right? What an awfull night.
Unbelievable that none of them had the courtesy to give you a heads-up. No, let's take the easy way and ambush her. Ugh.

Anna H.

I'm sorry. I hear you, I so hear you.

And your last paragraph just about broke my heart. It hit so close to home...

Thinking of you.


Dead Bug

I am so sorry. That feeling of being an emotional invalid, someone to be protected and insulated, is excruciating. So much worse than just getting the truth.

Much love to you,


Must you meet up with them anymore? Maybe just one or two?

I'm sorry, that's such a sucky thing to have happen to you, and it takes time to 'just get over it'. I'm not sure the bitterness ever goes away, though...


I hear ya. Sometimes people, even people we love and who love us, suck. Meet you at the bar...let's go get pissed.

Alex/ Infertile Gourmet

I was really sorry to read this. It made me feel very sad. I know for such a long time that we did nothing to move forward on having children was worse in some ways than the cycles that failed. It was a dead space with no hope. I am so very sorry that it still hurts and their is no hope of it happening. I wish I could say something else to make it better but I know that I cannot. I am thinking ofyou.


I know these feelings exactly. A co-worker did the same thing at a group meeting where everyone knew she was pregnant but me. They do tiptoe around you and it is tons more respectful to be included than protected. But in the end the news would have hurt regardless of how it was delivered. Me, I make the effort to talk about my co-workers' pregnancies (there are two right now), share my experiences etc. but that's no good either because me having had a stillbirth am a pariah, who would want advice or pregnancy anecdotes from me? I'm their worst nightmare. So ultimately, I ignore pregnant people and they ignore me. That's the way it's going to be from now on I think. Probably even after I do get pregnant. Because shit like this, you can't really forgive.


I have had this happen several times and it always stings. The last time, my own husband did it to me. That was the worst, like saying he knew I couldn't handle it. Yeah, because it's so much better to be blindsided by something like that in public.

I'm sorry.

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